If you’re going to use an asterisk to limit freeloading, IT CAN’T BE A STAR OF DAVID. #wrapitupjews
Dear 16 Handles: maybe stay away from violent sex moves when naming your yogurt flavors? #oneinthestinktwointhepinkberry
Going through boxes at my parents’ house and came across some relics
BABIES ON PLANES
Your 30’s: when you stop waiting in line for bands and start waiting in line for salad. #IDplease
No thanks; I only like slutty toilet paper with mediocre contact.